DEAN'S DATING BLOG

Hi welcome to my dating blog hope it helps

Are you sending out the right signals for your ideal man?

Have you ever considered what image you project? How's your attitude about life, being gay or dating? Do you walk with confidence or insecurity? It's important to consider these things when looking for a date. More times than not, you'll attract the type of guy that's attracted to the signals you're sending. So, if you're meeting the wrong type of guys (or the same type), try changing your attitude. If you don't normally smile, try giving guys a quick grin, after all, nobody wants to date somebody that’s miserable and boring. If you give off an air of arrogance, try loosening up a bit. A little self-reflection and image adjustment can go a long way.

To find the right man sometimes you have to narrow down your search!

How can you find Mr. Right if you don't have a vision of what he looks like? Make a list of the qualities you like in a guy. This may sound like a waste of time, but a few minutes with a pen and paper can help you focus on finding the right man for you. Not long ago I wrote down the hair colour, height range, ethnicity, and build of my ideal date and it's amazing how many guys I meet that fall within my "list." But don't just stop there - life isn't all about physical qualities. What kind of personality or demeanor would you like him to have? What about his family life? Keep your options open, though. Sometimes the cosmos have a way of surprising us. You may meet a guy that fulfils most of your expectations and surprise you with other qualities you didn’t even know you were looking for. You may meet the right sort of guy but their family background may make dating difficult, especially if your date has not yet ‘come out’ of the closet, or they are from a religion whereby being homosexual is a forbidden fruit. If that is the case, the prospective date may simply just be experimenting with their sexuality, and you have to ask yourself if you want to be a guinea pig for their experiment. If you are after a worthwhile relationship, it is sometimes better to steer clear of these types of relationships.

Go where they go.

You wouldn't look for a new pair of gloves in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket would you? Of course not. So why do most gay men look for specific types of guys in the wrong places. If you like a certain type of guy, go where those types of guys go. I'd love to say the world is an integrated utopia, but people tend to hang out with others with similar backgrounds or interests. Let's say you're looking for a guy that has an interest in theatre; then join a local theatre group or hang out at local venues frequented by theatre lovers. If your dream lover is a body builder, then spend more time at the gym, because more than likely that's where he'll be most of the time. It goes without saying really, a lot of peoples lives can be lacking in activity, and joining a gym or another kind of club can introduce you to lots of new people. Look at your own interests and see what you can do to interact with people more. The more people you meet, the more chance you have of finding the right man for you! You could also try joining the local LGBT group on Facebook, the one in my town have meet ups every Friday, where you can meet new people and socialise with people who you may have met before. This all makes head way for attracting more opportunity for you to meet the right guy for you!

Come on then make a move on me?????!

Are you the life of the party or do you like to sit on the sidelines? Most gay men wait for their knight in shining Tiffany to come and swoop them up from the bar stool. You look, make eye contact and even flirt a bit, but do you ever make a move? Who doesn't want a handsome guy to come up and talk to them? Unfortunately, this attitude has created an imbalance in the dating scene. Since everyone's waiting to be approached, there's no one doing the approaching; which is why it's not uncommon to go to a gay party or a night club/pub and see everyone standing around in their own corners like at a school dance. Practice getting out of you comfort zone. Find a guy you like and try starting a conversation. To many gay men, the thought of doing this is terrifying, but with practice it will get more comfortable.

Opposites attract but it helps if you have something in common!

Now that you're ready to walk up to a guy, what are you going to say to him? Well, in my experience two angles work best: breaking the ice and then finding something in common. Breaking the ice can be easier than you may think. Find something unique about him (article of clothing, jewellery, hair style), then comment on it. Try a humorous angle. Instead of saying, "I like your hair cut" try phrasing it in a way that will make him smile or continue a conversation. A better approach might be, "You know, my stylist said only certain guys can pull off that style. I guess you're one of them..." Hey, it may sound cheesy, but it strikes conversation and hopefully a blush. If you get stuck, then offer to buy him a drink, or if you’re really cheeky, get them to buy you a drink (kidding). This buys you time to think about something else to talk about. Once you've broken the ice, find something you guys have in common and go with it. If nothing is apparent ask him if he is interested in the things you're interested in and go from there.

Too much emotion too soon??

Be honest and open with your new prospect, but don't give too much too soon. Connecting with someone you like can be an overwhelming experience in its beginning stages. Take your time getting to know one another and let the details of your life and your emotions unfold naturally. Your first date might not be the time to talk about work stress or emotional issues with your parents or other family members that might be troubling you. Spend time in the beginning getting comfortable with each other and slowly open up. That way neither one of you are overwhelmed too early in the relationship.

Play the odds.

Sometimes playing the dating game is like playing a slot machine. It's attractive with its many colours and sounds, but always uncertain. Of course, there's the potential of hitting the jackpot, but unless you're extremely lucky you have to play more than a few coins to hit big. If approaching a guy doesn't work the first time, then try, try again. Eventually it will pay off.

Dean

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